feels like going backwards

this is the plane that got me back to haiti:

we got in around maybe 9:30 Monday morning. first on my agenda of course was going back to the Embassy. we knew the process and rules as far as getting humanitarian parole were changing, and this is when we were first told that everything was on hold. it didn't matter what paper work we had. it didn't matter how far they were in the process. it didn't even matter if they had already printed the travel documents. no documents were being given. UNICEF got in the way (click on the link to read someone's blog about UNICEF). we were simply told on Monday that a meeting was taking place between some US and haitian government officials trying to find a solution. we left the embassy with nothing.

went back to the embassy Tuesday morning. each day since Monday has felt like a step backwards. i don't even want to go to the embassy anymore. i would be okay going there everyday and not making any progress. but it is beyond frustrating to feel like we are moving backwards. Tuesday they made it hard for us to even get in the embassy. and today they made it even more difficult. we've been told now that every file must go to the Prime Minister for him to review. and only files that have already (pre-earthquake) been approved by the haitian government will even make it to the Prime Minister. at this point, it means if you just started your adoption process or had not yet made it to a certain point, there is nothing you can do. you cannot get humanitarian parole. i'm not really sure how that makes any sense. i really do understand that certain documents need to be in place. i understand they want to prevent child trafficking and sending kids out that actually had haitian families that wanted them here. but what is the reason in stopping those of us that have paper work showing the haitian family had pre-earthquake given their child over to the orphanage. we have birth certificates and court documents. why keep these kids here? what is the purpose? there just is no logical explanation. and it's frustrating. but we are not giving up. 2 of the children we are trying to get home to their families have paperwork and documents needed. the other 3 were just beginning the process. but things are changing daily here. we just have to hope that it will eventually again change in our favor. in the favor of the orphaned children who have american families waiting for them.

what day is it, anyway?

this weekend has been such a blur. i mean, more-so than the rest of the past 2 weeks. Friday, we finally got the travel documents we needed to get 15 of our kids out of haiti and to their families in the states. there are still 7 children that we were not able to get the paperwork for, but we went ahead and left with the 15. it was an interesting ride, that's for sure! we left haiti on a military plane and arrived in Orlando at 11:30 pm. we were taken to a room that consisted of a table, chairs, a television (thankfully), blankets and snacks. and that is where some of us spent the next 16 hours. through-out the night, the children were taken one by one to get finger printed and someone went over their documents. most of the children slept rather well. the kids really did great overall with the whole crazy experience. they were champs on the loud plane. maybe a little unsure of all that was going on (and of course had no idea what was happening or why) but they went with the flow. sleeping on hard floors. eating crackers and snacks. seeing new things and new people. this probably didn't bother the kids as much as it did the adults-- but we could feel the room shaking with each plane that took off and landed. our first thought was - aftershock! then we would quickly realize we were not in haiti and it was not an aftershock. :) the parents started picking up their kids sometime Saturday morning. i'm not really sure what time that started. but we had to stay until the last child was picked up- we stayed in that room until around 3:30. by the time we got to our condo (some of the families stayed in Orlando instead of heading right back out) it was around 5pm. in a way, it felt like it was still Friday. but it also felt like Friday was weeks ago. i just couldn't keep track of what day it was. and i was constantly forgetting that i was in Orlando and not haiti. after settling in, Saturday evening was quite relaxing. i shared a room with three other ladies that had also escorted the children home. the group ordered pizza. we snatched up the pizza and hid out in our room watching meaningless TV and fell asleep early. it was divine. then both of the ladies had flights this afternoon to go back to their homes in the states. i went with them to the airport to try to get a flight to ft. lauderdale, as i had arranged a charter flight out of there for Monday morning. it was kind-of weird going to the airport without a real plan! but i was able to catch a flight and the group i will be flying with had also reserved a few hotel rooms- so i was set for that once i arrived in ft. lauderdale. and here i am. today is sunday. i'm in ft. lauderdale. it's been 12 days since the earthquake. these are things i have to keep reminding myself.

embassy

I've been spending most of my time since Monday at the Embassy. Heartline's orphanage, Maranatha Children's Home, has 18 kids that we are trying to get home through humanitarian parole. These are orphans that already have adoptive families and we are trying to get them home to these families. The earthquake will only make life in haiti harder. More people without homes or any possessions. More people without food and water. More orphans. There is no reason to keep orphans here that have families waiting for them in the United States. Both the US and Haitian government seem to be working with us for humanitarian parole and several orphans have already been able to go home. Watch the video on that link, it is so awesome to see these kids united FOREVER with their families. A dad that is adopting from Heartline, Tim, came into Haiti on Sunday to help work on getting our kids out. He and I have been to the Embassy Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday was our longest day there. We seemed to go in a lot of circles and even take steps backwards. We had originally been working with a very helpful lady, but she had to leave for the day and we got passed off to someone a little more clueless. We had already given them the lists and emails that they needed. Now they were acting like they didn't know who we were or what we wanted. We finally get to talk to someone, then wait for hours. The same guy would then come up and act like he didn't remember talking to us 2 hours ago! We were able to help them gather all the info that we had already given them and they said they would start working on putting together the travel documents. Tim is back at the Embassy today with another adoptive dad that just flew into Haiti yesterday. Once we have the travel docs in hand (hopefully TODAY) we will take all the kids to the Embassy and wait for a flight out.

some pictures...

i know you've seen all kinds of pictures through the media and other people's blogs and facebook. but here are a few pictures of mine. i believe they are all from Wednesday... and they are either from the drive to Three Angels, Delmas 91 (the road TAs is on) or the along the walk i made from TAs to Quisqueya school where the kids stayed. i haven't taken any pictures since then. in fact, i don't even know where my camera is. i don't know where a lot of my clothes are. things seemed to have gotten lost in-between the transition from where i was living to the Livesays where i'm staying now. plus, there have been so many people in and out. things are just crazy. unimaginable, really. and i'm sorry i do not blog or update more. to do so would mean i would have to actually stop, think, and process it all. and it's almost easier just not to do that.

the days following Tuesday...

Wednesday morning, Troy and I went off to check on several people and then back to Three Angels. We were seeing things for the first time in daylight. Here is Troy's video he took along some of the drive, walking (climbing) down Delmas 91, the people gathered across the street of TAs (listening carefully, you will hear them singing): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viXd8mD77UE

I stayed behind at Three Angels, while Troy went to continue checking on people and getting other things done. After we didn't see the orphanage kids across the street, I went over to the TA building. The cooks were there working on the afternoon meal. Francois was there waiting to bring the food down to Quisqueya School, where the kids and nannies had set up "camp". I walked with Francois to the school so he could bring the car back to the O and load it up with the food and many other supplies. We got the food down and I was able to hang around and play with the kids for a little while. After things were settled there, I took a moto taxi (people on motorcycles ride around and you pay them for a ride) back to Tabarre (the area of Port au Prince where I live). The aftershocks were still hitting often. From there on out- my days blend together. I can continue telling stories, but I honestly don't know what happened on which day. I went back and forth from Tabarre to Petionville (where Three Angels and Quisqueya are) everyday except Thursday. After the first day, they decided to save gas and not drive the car as much. I helped them carry the large pots of hot food (rice and bean sauce) several blocks down to the school. As we would walk by many of the collapsed buildings, we would see dead bodies covered in sheets or blankets. I was thankful they were covered. It would make it all that much harder to have a face to put with each body. The past several days have been so hard without reliable communication. It is getting better. My phone works most of the time now. However, I have been unable to get more minutes on it (in haiti, all cell phones work similar to the pay-as-you-go phones. you just buy a phone card to put minutes on it). Yesterday, two Three Angels board members and 3 other people were finally able to land in Haiti on a missionary flight. Things and information are constantly changing. It was hard and frustrating when things are changing and you have no easy way to communicate that to the people that need to know. Yesterday was an adventure for me. After getting word that Gretchen (TA board member) and team had landed (after someone else had just called me telling me they could not land), I desperately tried to come up with a solution. I was able to send out one text message that I hoped would get to Francois, letting them know they needed to pick up the team from the airport, but his phone was not working, it was to someone else's phone. Then, I ran out of cell phone minutes. I couldn't make any calls even if I knew who to try to get ahold of. I left the Livesay house simply telling Tara, "I have to go do something." But, I didn't exactly have a plan. Normally, I would not just go out by myself in Haiti (at least, not often), mostly because of my limited Creole and also because it's not always the wisest thing for a single woman. I started walking down the street and ran into Troy, so I asked if he knew where I could by a phone card. He told me there is normally a guy down by the boys and girls home that sells them. I walked down that way and started asking people, in my best possible Creole, if they knew this guy. Some boys directed me to where he was at. I went and knocked on the gate, eventually someone came to the gate, but said that guy was at church. So I continued on back down the road to a corner where people are set up selling things. I asked several people, no one had any phone cards. So then I just decided to get on a moto and go to the airport. When I had last been able to talk to Gretchen, she told me they were at the domestic airport, which is separate from the regular one. At this point, I had no idea if Francois and Abbey had even gotten my message, and if they had, I was afraid they would go to the regular airport. Gretchen called me while I was on the moto ride. She said they found their own tap tap (public transportation- usually a pickup truck with benches in the back) and would just go ahead on their own. Since I was headed to the airport, I decided I would continue on there, and see if I could find Abbey and Francois, in case they did show up to pick up the team. I didn't see them there, so an airport employee went with me to the domestic airport. We walked most of the way, because traffic was so horrible. Someone there told us that the 5 white people had already left. So from there I took a moto and went to the school, where the Three Angels kids were gathered. Gretchen and team had already arrived, but still no one had heard from Abbey or Francois. I walked with the team up to the Three Angel property so they could take a look around. Again, the cooks were preparing the meal, so then I helped them carry it to the school. As I carried one of the hot, heavy pots, I wanted to put it up on my shoulder to make it easier to carry. So I picked up a shirt off the street to lay it on. One of the people I was walking with said, "No, li mouri." Meaning, the shirt was from someone who died. After getting back to the school, I was exhausted and ready to go home. Abbey and Francois showed up just as I was leaving. They had got my message and had gone to the airport to pick up the team. I went and found myself a moto. It was a poor choice. We had to stop twice so he could fix something on the motorcycle. But I made it home. Then we worked on getting the Women's Program building at Heartline set up for the medical clinic that we will be starting on Monday. A team of doctors, nurses, and others are suppose to be getting in today on a private plane. I have not heard any updates on them. Hopefully there are able to land so we will be fully ready to start tomorrow.