from mission work to crafting

In the past, the main purpose of this blog was to share my adventures in mission work while I lived in Haiti. It wasn't always about Haiti. Sometimes I posted random thoughts and musings. However, now I'm no longer living in Haiti, just back to regular ol' life in Southern Indiana. But I have a new hobby. I've started crafting. While I've always loved to draw, I've never thought of myself as artsy. And I'm still not really. But I love trying. Sometimes I spend hours on something and it's a flop. And sometimes, I'm proud of the end results. I'm going to start sharing my attempts at being crafting here on the blog!

To start with, here are two random, simple beginning works.

I started with a piece of cloth from an old shirt. Painted on the squares and sewed around them. My sewing machine was snagging a bit, so it didn't turn out perfectly. Printed out the quote on regular computer paper and sewed it on as well!

I special greeting card that I wanted to hang on to, so I decided to make something with it. I cut off the back of the card, and glued the front to a couple different pieces of collaged scrapebook paper. Then I loosely glued it to the brown piece just to hold it in place and stitched it on. I really like the effect that gave it! Hot glued on the buttons to give it a little extra texture. Framed it without glass. 

oh the things we think we know

I'm at a place in my life where I am questioning a lot of things. I'm questioning what I believe and where I stand on certain issues and who I am. Don't freak out. I am not questioning whether God exists. I am not questioning my belief in Jesus. But I look at the church and church people... and I can't help but think maybe we've missed it. It's hard to really see something for what it is when you are so close and caught up in it. So I take a step back. I examine and question the things I was taught, the things I thought I knew. I think that's the biggest problem. We think we are the ones to have it all figured out. Whatever your denomination is. Even within a denomination there can be differences, so take it a step further, your church, your pastor. You are the ones that have the real Truth. That have it all figured out. Everyone else is just wrong. And the worst of it is, you're not allowed to have questions. You're not allowed to have a different opinion. They (church leaders) might not kick you out of the church for having a different opinion, but it would never be viewed as a legitimate point of view. They would try to change your mind. And if they couldn't, they would just settle on the fact that you just aren't as spiritual mature or you're living in sin and don't want to grasp the truth of the matter.

If you doubt or question a certain issue, church people will simply tell you to "look at it through the lens of the Bible". We like nice, pat, simple answers. But the thing is, not all of us are satisfied with pat answers. And the problem with that pat answer is that we're all looking at the Bible through a different lens. This might make a lot of people uncomfortable. Am I saying there isn't an absolute truth? No. I'm saying we are mere human beings and we'd be much better off if we stopped pretending we have all the answers. There are thousands and thousands of different protestant denominations. That's thousands and thousands of different view points. All who look at things through the lens of the Bible. All who believe the answers and conclusions they've come to are the real ones. The real Truth.

I'm not saying there aren't things we can know for certain. I'm just saying maybe we need to shorten that list.

I leave you with "This Side of Heaven" by Chris August

Everyone's got their own opinions
There's nothing they don't know about
But in the end nobody's winning
'Cause nobody's got it figured out

[Chorus:]
Oh the things we think we know
But honestly we really don't
This side of heaven
Save the worry, stop the hate
It doesn't matter anyway
This side of heaven

You can make your own decision
You can write it on a sign
But when it feels like something's missing
Listen up and I'll tell you why

[Chorus]
Oh the things we think we know
But honestly we really don't
This side of heaven
Save the worry, stop the hate
It doesn't matter anyway
This side of heaven

I remember how He showed me
Love is first above all
And that judgment should come slowly
'Cause we all have our faults

pressing on

I didn't help start Leve Project because it seemed like a cool idea. Leve Project was founded after prayer, first-hand experience, research and a lot of hard work. Leve Project was founded because it's something we, the founders, believed in and felt called to do. Since I first started full-time ministry, moving to Haiti to be the house manager at an orphanage, I have always felt that people look down to me. Like I'm too young. I don't have a college degree. I'm single. I'm female. Apparently, those are all negative qualities. I rarely feel like someone has confidence in me, in what I'm doing. When we first started Leve, people might not have said it in direct words, but they expected us to fail. In Acts, a man named Gamaliel says, "For is this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them." 


I'm not going to lie, the thought of quitting has crossed my mind. We don't have the financial support we need. At least, we don't have the security of financial commitments that would make me more comfortable. But, God has always provided. Sometimes, I look over finances and think to myself, "We can't keep going like this". And yet, we've always been able to keep going. Besides financial support, I sometimes feel we don't have support in the form of encouragement and partners. Just the other day, I was thinking to myself, "If no one else supports this, why am I still doing it? Why shouldn't I quit?". But I know why I can't quit. Because it wasn't man that called me to this, it was God. And even if I feel alone, even if I feel like no one else supports what I'm doing, I know that God called me to it and He is in it with me. And so I will press on. Straining towards the goal. 


I will admit though, that I don't know what that will look like. Pressing on. I'm at the point where I have to consider returning to the states. I have no personal income and my savings is just enough for a plane ticket. Leve Project struggles every month. Our house rent was due last month and we still don't have the money to pay it. At first, I thought this was all just another reason for me to quit. But then I looked at it again. And I cannot quit. 


I really feel we're making an impact here. Last month, we had a our first community meeting. We got the people of the village together to talk about what they want and what they feel they need. We've had several more meetings and a leadership committee was formed. We met with the committee last week to discuss and make plans for micro-loans. I feel like the people are encouraged and excited about the meetings we have had and it's given them a hope. These people have hopes and dreams for their lives... no human being wants to live in the conditions they do. They have learned to be content in their poverty...but they have hopes for a better life.  And in our meetings, they are seeing a little shred of light... a possibility that maybe their future can change. I can't walk away from that. The thought of quitting makes me literally sick. These are people I know. While they might just be a photograph to you, they are real, living, breathing people. Beautifully and wonderfully made by the Creator. And until I have absolutely nothing left in me, nothing left to give, I will continue to fight for them. I will fight for their dreams and hopes of a better life. 


I am asking for partners that will step out in faith with me. Faith that this is an undertaking of God. Faith that God is faithful and just. Faith that God will provide and that we can make a difference here, not because of ourselves, but because of Him. 


I feel like God has brought me, and this ministry, to a place of desperation. But not because He wants me to be desperate for more money and more partners and more support; He brought me here because He wants me to be desperate for Him. So I lay it at His feet. And whether in Haiti or in the states, I will continue to do the work that Leve Project has started here. I will press on. 


www.leveproject.org

"I can't stand your religious meetings"

I used to make fun of the Message paraphrase Bible. Okay, well, I didn't make fun of it... but there was a passage that I thought was funny.

Psalm 6:1-3 ESV

"O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O Lord- how long?

Psalm 6:1-3 The Message

"Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed. Treat me nice for a change; I'm so starved for affection. Can't you see I'm black and blue, beat up badly in bones and soul? God, how long will it take for you to let up?"

Now, that, I simply found funny.

But I was also "against" The Message. I've changed my mind now. Though it's important to view it as what it is. A paraphrase. It's one man's, Eugene Peterson, thoughts and interpretations of the scripture. Most translations have nearly or more than 100 different translators working together. The Message would never be my sole version of the scripture... but reading it along side a more accurate translation can be beneficial.

I still think The Message wording in Psalm 6 is funny. However, a lot less funny, in fact, it seems to step on my toes til it hurts, is a passage in Amos.

Amos 5:21-24 The Message

"I can't stand your religious meetings. I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions. I want nothing to do with your religion projects, your pretentious slogans and goals. I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making. I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music. When was the last time you sang to me? Do you know what I want? I want justice- oceans of it. I want fairness- rivers of it. That's what I want. That's all I want."

Yeah. Ouch.

i'm not a survivor

I don't think of myself as a Haiti earthquake survivor. Yes, I was there. Yes, I lived through it. The dictionary says a survivor is "a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died". So I guess that would make me a survivor. But, I think of a survivor as someone who fought to live. Who struggled through and made it out. As horrific of an experience as the earthquake was for me... my story does not even compare to others. I wasn't not in a building that collapsed. I was not injured. I was not buried alive or stuck somewhere for days. I didn't lose any family members. I didn't lose my house or my possessions. I didn't go without food or water. Those are the survivors.