all the little things.

the earthquake changed things. that's obvious. it can be overwhelming to think about. but try to break it down and think of it on a smaller scale. all the individual lives that were changed. and all the little things that changed for just that one person. maybe no one even died in their family. but they wake up in a tent instead of their house. the child doesn't go to school like he use to because it collapsed. the mother doesn't cook on a stove anymore... but instead just piles up some charcoal and makes do. the little girl doesn't go play outside with her friends, like when they use to pretend to do each others nails and give make-overs, because she hasn't seen those friends since the earthquake. they might be alive. maybe they just set up a tent in another area. but she doesn't know. they never had a father. the boyfriend of the mother stopped coming around because he can't handle taking care of them. he has nothing to offer. the mother used to buy fruit from a lady up the mountain, and she would then sell it on the streets in the city. but she hasn't seen that lady since the quake. she tries to buy fruit from someone else, but it's more expensive and she can't seem to make ends meet.

that is just a story. but i'm sure it's the "nice" version of the reality for many people now.

i had just arrived back in Haiti on January 11. i unpacked and got resettled. paige and i had plans to start running. vivien and i both brought soccer balls back, because all the "young" people in our neighborhood liked to get together to play sports at least once a week. we made plans. we talked about things we wanted to do. and we talked about when our other friends would arrive back in haiti.

but none of that matters anymore. who knows where the soccer ball is at. the field we use to play in quickly became a tent city. the games and movies we brought for our "hang out" nights have been long forgotten. i have a suitcase of things with me. everything else i have has been shoved in a room at the guest house, along with vivien's things and all of the furniture.

everything changed. what use to matter, no longer does. and it's not just the big things-- it's all the little things.