Monday, March 22, 2010

megan goes to church.

Before I moved to Haiti, I remember seeing this book come out at the Christian bookstores- "Jim and Casper Go to Church: Frank Conversation about Faith, Churches, and Well-meaning Christians."


Jim and Casper are friends. Jim is a Christian. Casper is an atheist. The book is pretty much the two of them traveling around to different churches, and Casper gives a "review" on the church.


I never read the book.  Nonetheless, I decided I didn't like it.  I won't get into the details... because that is not the point. But today, I realized why church has been weird for me. I feel like a visitor in the American church. I'm seeing it from different eyes than I use to. I see everything from different eyes than I use to. 

And it's because of Haiti. Haiti changes you. Living in Haiti really changes you. My worldview has changed. My view of Christianity has changed. I see God differently, I have a different idea of what love is, and I would even say my theology has been altered. I just feel like I stand in a different place than the typical American Christian/church. I am not saying I am above or below... I'm just saying it feels different. 


I've been in the states for just over a month since after the earthquake. I've been to several different churches. Some of them have been great experiences... others not so much. But in both cases, I still feel very much like a visitor. And yes, I am a visitor... but it's more than feeling like a visitor to that church, it's feeling like a visitor to church. I've grown up in church, but the church no longer feels as familiar to me. And maybe that is good. Sometimes we let things grow too familiar that they lose their beauty to us. Or, we are so familiar with it that we overlook it's flaws.  I found myself thinking back to the book of Jim and Casper Go to Church. Casper the atheist, going to christian churches and deciding what he thinks they are doing wrong and right. Casper, to whom the church has not become a familiar thing, viewing it from different eyes. Now, of course, my worldview (and therefore view of everything) differs hugely from Casper's. But in a very small way, I felt like I could relate to him. Being a visitor in the american christian church. 


1 comment:

mrs. darling said...

i was a missionary in west africa for 15 months after college. like haiti has with you, africa changed me forever. it changed my world views, my view of christianity, my view of what love is. i've been back in the states for over 5 years now. i still feel like a visitor in the american church. i don't think that will ever change for me. you definately are not alone.