one of the best things a parent can do for a child is not give them everything they want. they may not like you for it now, but they will hopefully learn to appreciate it. it seems to get worse with every generation. i see it in the teens/early-twenty-somethings of today. we think we deserve everything. we expect things to be free, we expect things to be handed to us. we think we shouldn't have to work for anything, for whatever reason, we've got this idea in our heads that world owes us. just today i saw a little girl wearing a shirt that said, "saw it. wanted it. threw a tantrum. got it." and that's the world we live in!! i'm not saying we should deny children every good gift, i'm saying we need to realize that these things are GIFTS, not things owed to us.
this is one of my favorite passages, it keeps me in check when i start to whine about things being unfair.
"For the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and to them he said, 'You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give to you.' So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing. And he said to them, 'Why do you stand here idle all day?' They said to him, 'Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, 'You go into the vineyard too.' And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.' And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. Now when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more, but each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it they grumbled at the master of the house, saying 'These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorning heat.' But he replied to one of them, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?' So the last will be first, and the first last."
Matthew 20:1-16
The master did not give the first workers less than what they deserved, he simply gave to those who came later more.
this prideful attitude of how mistreated we are creeps into our lives more than we realize. at least it does me. we are always looking around, comparing, seeing what others have- thinking we should have the same. and if it seems we have less, well, that's just not fair! but instead, we need to realize what we deserve. nothing. anything above that is a gift.
"If God gives that grace to others, which he denies to us, it is kindness to them, but no injustice to us."...."Instead of repining (i looked it up, it means complaining!) that we have no more, let us take what we have, and be thankful. If God be better in any respect to others than to us, yet we have no reason to complain while he is so much better to us than we deserve, in giving us our penny, though we are unprofitable servants." Matthew Henry
6 comments:
"If God gives that grace to others, which he denies to us, it is kindness to them, but no injustice to us."
ouch.
agreed. i see that in others too and i get frustrated. but then i, often times, see it in myself as well.
thanks for the reminder.
Very well said!!!
and aren't the things you wanted better liked if you fought for it?? to know that you deserved something by working for it makes that thing all the sweeter!
Romans 5:3-5.
i love this post. this is amazing stuff, my friend.
I love your view on this!!! We have tried very hard to not give into the earthy everything that our children want. It is hard, and we fail, but we do want to teach them to have contentment... Thanks for this post, it's a great one!
Not that all your post aren't great ones!!
what a bad footing to start a child out on: believing they can and should get everything they want. you're just setting them up for disappointment. it's just not going to happen. and the selfish, deserving, sinful heart attitude is not something i am hoping to cultivate in my child!
thanks for posting, megan.
I was most captivated by the same words that struck Elias... and I also have an OUCH reaction! But this is so true, and I am grateful for the perspective.
My husband is in chiro school right now, and I have been shocked to see how students live this days. Surviving solely on loans they live like kings! Brand new expensive cars, really nice apartments with every room furnished beautifully, going out for dinner every night... The prosperity of America combined with sin & irresponsible parenting has yielded a generation that really does expect to have everything they want immediately. Our grandparents saved up over time to buy their cherished possessions one at a time. Today people just finance a housefull of everything they desire all at once- without a thought! And in a few years it all starts to look dated and they seek to replace it... I was recently shopping with one of our friends, who is living on student loans like us (but they are also receiving welfare checks) and she saw some curtains she wanted for her living room. I said "Oh no way, The ones you have are gorgeous!" (and really, they are quite lavish and stunning) She responded that she HAD to get these others because they were on sale and because "those old curtains have been hanging there for almost TWO whole years!" She was serious. I was speechless.
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