prayer

a while back i read a book called "The Necessity of Prayer" by E.M. Bounds. during my time in Haiti, I've been thinking back on this book and have had to ask myself the question, do i desire the things i pray for? when i pray for the kids at Three Angels, when i pray for the staff, do i really pray with desire? sure, i want what i pray for...but here's the difference: "Desire is not merely a simple wish, it is a deep seated craving, an intense ongoing for attainment." (all quotes are from Bounds)

There is no urgency or persistance to my prayers. Most of the time, i simply pray for something and then move on. "The urgency of our desire holds us to the thing we desire with a tenacity that refuses to be lessened or loosened. It stays and pleads and persists, and refuses to let go until the blessing has been granted." "pray with an earnestness that cannot be denied" "[persistant praying] never prepares itself to quit praying, and refuses to rise from its knees until an answer is received"

do i pray with fervency? Do i ache and groan inwardly with longing for my prayers to be granted? or am i simply praying because i told someone i would pray for them? "God stands pledged to give us the desire of our hearts in proportion to the fervency of spirit we exhibit when seeking His face in prayer." "The atmosphere about us is too heavily charged with resisting forces for limp and lazy prayers to make headway."

Persistance. I am not persistent in my prayers. Which goes back to my lack of desire. i want, but i do not desire. i ask, but i am not persistant. "Persistent prayer is a mighty movement of the soul toward God. It is a stirring of the deepest forces of the soul toward the throne of heavenly grace. It is the ability to hold on, press on, and wait. Restless desire, restful patience, and strength to hold on are all contained in it. It is not an incident or a performance, but a passion of soul. It is not a half-needed want, but a sheer necessity." "When the conflict gets stronger, a brave soldier displays a greater courage then in the earlier stages of the battle. So do praying Christians. When delay and denial face them, they increase their earnest asking and do not stop until the answer comes."